For most of my life, one of my mother’s outstanding traits was her ability to socialize with others.  She had an ability to start, or add to, a lively conversation on most any subject and a way of making every stranger feel welcome, every person feel important.

Alzheimer’s changed that wonderful behavior and recently she has begun to just chatter, maybe for attention or maybe as an attempt to be her old self.  However, she now interrupts conversations with nonsensical, repetitive, often irrelevant chatter.  Or in the car, she will just talk non-stop about nothing and everything.  It can be very irritating, so my family tried humor and found that it often works… at least temporarily.

When my mother is chattering non-stop in the car, my brother tells her that he has an Eject-o-Mom installed in the passenger seat and if she continues to chatter he will press it.  She giggles and the chatter subsides!  Ten minutes later, she may be chattering again and he may have to say it again, but she giggles again and is quiet for another few minutes.

When she chatters non-stop at home, Steve tells her that the chair she is in only has a 100-word capacity and if she says more than 100 words, it and she will melt into the carpet.  And she stops to think about that and forgets to chatter for a few minutes.

While this may sound silly, it actually works.  Those with Alzheimer’s have a different reality.  You cannot teach them to modify their behavior – they will forget your teaching.  You cannot effectively punish them, for they often do things unconsciously; they react without ‘thinking’.  Nor will they long remember a punishment or what it was for.

So when I need to reprimand my mom (which can be often), I try to find a funny, nonsensical way to do it instead of using anger (which only makes the matters worse).   And with each activity that I do with my mom, I try to make her laugh at least once.  And as I try to find things to make her laugh, I find myself relaxing and finding more joy in my time with her.

There are lots of things in life to make you laugh or smile, if you only take the time to notice.  That’s one good lesson I have (re)learned while caring for my mom; and one I hope to carry with me for the rest of my life!